Someone Else's Life
by TurnMyGriefToGrace
Summary: A post 5.05, "There's No "I" in Team" one shot. MerDer progress and learning, told from Meredith's POV. Enjoy.


**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine, I just wish it was. And the song is by the wonderfully talented Joshua Radin. I don't own him either. ;)**

**This takes place after 5.05, There's No "I" in Team. It's short, but I felt like writing something. Hope you like it! :)**

_And somehow  
I'll make tonight our own  
I'll show you every way I've grown  
Since I met you_

It's getting late, and you've both silently decided to call it a night after the third round of sex. So you roll over in bed and turn off the light before noticing how his gift to you is casting a sort of romantic ambience over the room.

Sure, an internal organ that glows may be considered by some to be kind of creepy. But to you, it's a gift from the man you love, and it's something you know you'll cherish for years to come. "It glows," you laugh, the shock and amusement evident in your voice.

Derek props himself up on his elbow and grins. "Yeah."

You smile at the added gesture, slightly curious as to why and how the kidney in a jar on your nightstand is glowing, but you decide not to question it. Sometimes it's better to accept things for what they are.

You're feeling particularly chatty on this particular evening. Apparently, during the past few weeks of cohabitation, his chattiness has rubbed off on you. "When my mother was a resident, she wasn't dropping kidneys..."

"You're reading your mom's diary?" he asks softly.

"Hmm..." you murmur in response, resting your hand behind your head and closing your eyes. "I'm not half the surgeon my mother was."

Derek doesn't say anything. Instead, he just kisses your shoulder and wraps his arm around you. You both remain in a comfortable silence before he speaks. "You'll be better," he whispers confidently.

You turn around in his arms and look at him curiously. "Hmm?"

"You'll be better," he shrugs simply, unfazed by the look on your face.

Rather than argue with him, you give him a small smile. Part of you wants to believe he's right. After all, you've managed to find love and keep it, something your mother never could.

He returns the smile, and it makes your heart beat a little faster. "I'd give you a kidney," you announce.

"Hmm...?" The smile on his face is replaced with a furrowed brow and he cocks his head slightly.

It clicks in your mind that he has no idea what the hell you're talking about, and you blame it on the post-coital fog currently enveloping your brain. "I'm just saying, if you ever needed one, I'd give it to you."

"I'd give one to you, too," he replies, running his fingers down the length of your spine. It makes you erupt into goose bumps, but you let him do it anyway.

"That's good I guess," you whisper.

"I'd give you any part of me you needed, even if it means I had to die," he says softly, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

It's an incredibly sweet gesture, and without a shadow of a doubt, you know that he would.

He loves you _that_ much.

But still, you can't help but laugh a little. "Morbid..." you state.

"There's a dead, glowing kidney on your nightstand. That's morbid. Me...I'm just being honest," he chuckles.

You smile and move closer to him. "I'd do it for you, too."

Because _you_ love _him_ that much.

"Thank you for my kidney," you whisper.

"You're welcome," he says just as softly. "Was it the weirdest gift you've ever gotten?"

"I haven't gotten many, so I'd say so," you admit, trying to sound like it doesn't mean anything.

But this is Derek, and he knows it does.

"Not many, huh?" he asks sympathetically.

You shrug. "No big deal. It's the best gift anyone ever gave me."

He must sense that you don't want to delve into your dark and sorted past right now, so he doesn't say anything further. "Well, good. I like giving you gifts."

"I owe you one now," you respond.

"My birthday isn't for a while..." he chuckles.

The smile on his face is contagious, and you can't help but smile back at him. "May ninth."

"How do you...?" Derek asks you curiously.

There's no reason for you to know that little piece of information. Neither of you have ever celebrated each other's birthdays before, nor have you ever discussed it. You only know this because Mark brought it up once in a conversation.

"I know things," you reply with a coy smile.

Derek can see the playfulness in your eyes, even in the glowing, kidney-lit room, and decides that that answer is enough for him. "You know things."

He wants to know things about _you_ too.

So the next day at work, he finds you at lunch and hands you a cupcake with small yellow candle on top of it. All of your friends look at him like he's crazy. But you know why he's there.

"Your birthday was two months ago," he announces, smirking slightly. "And because you chose not to tell me, I'm giving you this."

No one's given you a birthday cake since you were fifteen, and the simple act of kindness he's bestowed upon you makes you fall in love with him a little more. "Thank you," you whisper, graciously smiling up at him.

Derek simply kisses you and continues on his way, leaving you to stare at the belated birthday cupcake in awe.

He really does love you _that_ much.

And you vow to thank him later on that night.

And you do.

After the sex has come to an end for the evening, you reach over into the drawer of your nightstand and pull out your trusty flashlight and the diary. Before turning it on, you glance over to him and make sure he's asleep.

You take a deep breath, flick the switch, and open the book. Reading your dead mother's diary is always uncharted territory, and sometimes, you have to muster up the strength to turn the page, but still, you read it.

You find where you left off and focus your eyes on the contents. While reading about some fancy new technique she's pioneering, you feel the bed shift, and you know he's awake. And he's probably looking at you with tired eyes, wondering what the hell you're doing at one in the morning.

But Derek says nothing; instead, he sits up and smiles at you. You bite your lip apologetically. "Sorry, I'll turn it off. Go back to sleep," you whisper.

"I'll read it with you," he offers gently, secretly hoping you'll let him.

Instead of fighting with him, you simply nod. "Okay."

He wants to know things, and this is your way of letting him in. He's on your side, no matter what's written in the mystery files of Ellis Grey.

You read about your fourth birthday, and all about how you kept asking for, as your mother called it, _a damn doll_. Leave it to your mother to have such hatred for a nine inch plastic doll with fake hair.

When Derek questions it, you explain to him the saga that went along with the treasured Judy Doll you had your heart set on, but never received. He simply nods and gives you a sad smile, wrapping his arm around you a little tighter.

A few days later, he arrives at your lunch table once again with a rectangular box wrapped in blue paper. You open it and find yourself biting back tears at what's inside.

It shouldn't have surprised you. After all, this is Derek. But still, he leaves you in awe. The doll you wanted but never got is sitting in front of you. Brown ponytail, blue dress.

Derek kisses the top of your head before leaning over to whisper into your ear. "Consider it an early gift for next year."

It's a slow process, but you're both getting there. You're learning things about each other. Sharing the details becomes easier and easier, and eventually, you do it without thinking.

You're in this with him.

Together.

You'd give him a kidney, and he'd give you one too. Morbid? Maybe. Probably.

But you both love each other _that_ much.

_If you let me,  
I'll show the world to you.  
Yes, if you let me,  
I'll know just what to do._

**I wanted them to make some progress. It's happening, but we don't get to see it really actively happening on the show as much as I would like, which is why I wrote this. I like to believe that Derek would do things like this for her. And in the promo, she's is holding a doll, and I wanted to give an explanation for it. ;)**

**Anyway, I hope you liked it.**

**Reviews make my day!**


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